I love you, but I wont tell you
by bluecupcakes
Summary: As I was watching the drama and the anime, I noticed that Irie doesn't say his feelings much, but he expresses them in what he does. Not, of course, that Kotoko notices. *IN-CHARACTER FLUFF*
1. Chapter 1

_Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! _The carol echoed through the busy department store with an energetic Kotoko singing along, a little loud and out of tune.

Her husband groaned. "Do you ALWAYS have to sing Christmas songs?"

"Of course!" was the enthusiastic reply. "You have to get into the Christmas SPIRIT, Irie-kun! This is going to be the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!"

Kotomi gurgled from her spot in Irie's arms, as if agreeing.

"Ok, I'm going to look for surprise presents for you and Kotomi-chan!" She bounded away, barely hearing Irie's reply of, "how can they be surprise gifts if you just told us about them? Sheesh. Baka."

Kotoko's dad was buying gift wrap for his present for the bouncy redhead, which was a scarf and pair of mittens because she always managed to lose them in the space of 2-3 days.

"Aihara-san," Irie said warmly, which made the man look up.

"Oh, hello, Naoki-kun." He was talking to the saleswoman. "Yeah, that blue wrap will be nice."

"Pardon me for saying this, Aihara-san, but Kotoko likes 'cute' gift-wrap with sparkles and teddy bears on them. So maybe that one?" Irie pointed to a gift wrap with bunnies on it.

"Wow, thank you, Naoki-kun! Yes, please, that one instead," he gestured to the salesman.

On Christmas Day, Aihara san gave his present to Kotoko.

"AWW THE GIFT WRAP IS SO ADORABLE! RIGHT IRIE KUN? RIGHT, KOTOMI CHAN?" She tickled the baby's chin. "Thank you so much, dad! I love it! It's so cute!" Kotoko traced the path of the hopping bunnies on the gift wrap with her finger.

She tore open the gift. "And look at this scarf! And mittens! I really needed these!" But, as expected, her attention veered back to the gift wrap.

"It's sooooooo adorable! Can I hang it on the wall?"

Grumbling, Irie tossed his present to Kotoko. It was five rolls of gift wrap, each with a different animal and different colored sparkles.

"IRIE-KUN THESE ARE SO KAWAIIIIIIIIIII!" She squealed, giving him a kiss on the cheek and was met with a brief smile.

Later, when Kotoko was busy showing her gift wrap rolls to Kotomi, who didn't seem to enjoy them as much as her mother did, Irie confided in Aihara, "The real gift is the necklace hidden in the gift wrap packages, but I think that she wouldn't care as much because she is so infatuated with the gift wrap." Irie gave one of his real grins.

"And you love her for it?" asked the father.

"And I love her for it." Irie's eyes crinkled in a rare display of happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

Megumi Nakajima, a coworker in the hospital where Irie and Kotoko work, runs up to Irie.

"Irie-san, I know you don't know me that well, but would you like this Italian Tiramisu cake from the expensive bakery up the road?" Her adoration for him is apparent.

"I'm sorry, but I will have to decline. Thank you anyway," he replies smoothly and goes to the cafeteria with Nishigaki sensei, who has his mouth open in wonder.

"How could you decline such a beautiful cake, from such a beautiful, talented lady? She is our hospital's best female-" The prestigious doctor is interrupted by yet another woman with a gift from Irie, this time a receptionist-intern with a large box of caramels and chocolates.

"H-h-hi, I am Ibuki Sakura. Uh-um...would you like these chocolates?"

"I'm sorry, but I will have to decline. Thank you anyway," Irie repeats the same line from before, like a robot, and continues with the doctor.

They sit down at one of the tables. Nishigaki-sensei opens his bento, a very cute one with the wieners cut like octopus and everything in its right section.

Irie opens his, and sighs. Nishigaki-sensei looks _extremely scared. _He looks like he wants to run from the seemingly menacing dish on the table.

It looks like a brown goop, and bubbles occasionally. Thick, foreboding black smoke hisses from the mysterious brown mixture and an occasional electric spark jolts out. Attached is a note on pink stationary paper written with purple glitter pen.

**Dear Irie-kun, **

**Mother was supposed to make your lunch but I wanted to make it instead. I know its a rough time because of the epidemic breaking out and I barely see you in the hospital anyway, given we are working in ****diffferent**** different sections of the building. I made you a ****sandwish...sorry, **** sandwich. I even wrote the letter in ****Inglish, I mean, **** English to try to impress you so you can take your mind off of work. **

**I know the sandwich didn't turn out so well, but**** plees...I mean, **** please try to enjoy it. **

**I love you,**

**Irie Kotoko **

Irie finishes reading out the letter, laughing and Nishigaki-sensei almost spits out his food. "THAT'S supposed to be a SANDWICH?"

"Apparently..." Irie replies and takes a bite out of the suspicious brown goop, making an effort to swallow. Eventually, he finishes the whole thing.

"What..." Nishigaki is confused. "Why would you refuse gourmet cakes and chocolates, and then eat TOXIC WASTE?"

Kin-chan at that moment chooses to walk over, hand in hand with Chris. "Hello, Nishigaki-sensei! We just wanted to say thank you again for curing Chris's burns. There is barely any scarring." Greetings are exchanged and Kin-chan looks at what remains of the 'toxic waste' AKA the sandwich.

"Kotoko made that, didn't she?"

"Yeah," Nishigaki decides to reply for Irie. "Kin chan, Irie refuses all sorts of gourmet desserts and eats" he shudders, "this sandwich."

"Ah, but that's the difference." Chris says, smiling. "Irie will eat ANYTHING that Kotoko makes. Just because it's Kotoko."

Irie grumbles, but doesn't reply in the negative.

**AN: I noticed this while watching the new J-drama with Furukawa Yuki and Honoka Miki. When Irie is working at Pandai, Kotoko makes a disgusting dinner, which Yuki hates, (it cracks his teeth), but Naoki eats it and tells Yuki to finish it too, much to the shock of Kotoko and Yuuki. **


	3. Chapter 3

Even though Kotoko and Irie seem like the different ends of a very, VERY long spectrum, sometimes, they can act the same.

Or, well, maybe not.

For a school project, Kotomi is interviewing her parents on 'romance'. The project is to interview your parents on some random subject for a journalism class, and even though she is the result of their love, Kotomi still doesn't know how they make their crazily mismatched relationship work.

Question number one: How do you confess your love to someone you like?

Kotoko: Send them a love letter!

Naoki: Don't send them a love letter.

Question number two: How do you impress your date?  
>Kotoko: Get them a present! Like I got your papa a head-massager. I think he still has it!<p>

Naoki: Don't get them a present. Like once your mama got me a head-massager. I still have it, but only because I forgot to throw it away. Oh, ok, you caught me. I still have it because your mama gave it to me.

Question number three: How do you deal with jealousy?

Kotoko: Well, you talk about it with your girlfriends and then have a girl's night out! That really helps, Kotomi-chan.

Naoki: You don't.

Kotomi: Say what?

Naoki: You don't. Claim her for yourself, instead of letting that bumbling idiotic excuse for a human try to marry her.

Kotomi: Uh...ok…

Question number four: How do you propose marriage?  
>Kotoko: A kiss in the rain. *goes off into dreamland*<p>

Naoki: Ah, um...yeah. A kiss in the rain. Oye, Kotoko, don't go off dreaming! Kotomi-chan isn't done with her interview.

Question number five: What do you do when your lover is hurt?

Kotoko: Carry her to the nurse's office, save her from drowning, run to the hospital with her in your arms, run again to the hospital to see if she is OK when she is pregnant…*goes into fantasy*

Kotomi: Papa, did that really happen?

Naoki: *mumbles* yes.

Kotomi: Louder, Papa!

Naoki: YES, Kotomi chan, I carried her to the nurse's office when she fell over me in the relay, we were at the water park, and she got a cramp in her leg, so I saved her. When she got appendicitis I ran with her in my arms to the hospital, once she fell when she was walking home from the hospital, when she was carrying you in her belly, and I got so worried, and I ran to see if she was alright.

Kotomi: And Mama says you aren't romantic!

Kotoko: Well, ehehe...Keita-kun walked me home once even though his home was in the other direction. That's SUPER romantic! Now, if only your papa would do that once in a while…

Naoki: *mood darkens* First, of all, Kotoko, if you don't remember, WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE! And I'm better than Keita, and for that matter, Kinnosuke, and better than every SINGLE guy who has ever laid eyes on you. So don't say that you love anyone else! You should only love me! *gets up and leaves the room in a huff*

Kotoko: Ehehehe, he'll calm down and come back. So, Kotomi-chan, do YOU have anyone who's interested in you?

Kotomi: Well, there's Tony-chan, Chris and Kin-chan's son. But he's annoying.

Kotoko: But he loves you...just like I love your papa! Isn't that worth anything? And he's handsome, too! And he can cook!

Kotomi: Wait, this was supposed to be an interview! PAPA, come BACK!


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, Naoki san! NAOKI-SAN!"

Irie, who is walking in the train station alone, turns.

"Matsumoto-san!" He smiles warmly, a real, genuine smile. "Long time no see!"

"How are you doing, Naoki-san? Where's your wife, Kotoko? And you have a baby girl now, right?"

"Ah, well, we're doing great. Kotomi had her first day of daycare today. She got scared of the teacher, who has a tall, booming voice. She wouldn't stop crying, so Kotoko had to take the day off to calm her down."

"Wonder how-Kotomi-chan, isn't it-would fare with Sudou then? He's hasn't changed-still jolly, with a loud voice to rival the teacher's, I would expect." Matsumoto replies, small smile on her face.

"No, Kotomi would love Sudou. Everyone loves Sudou. So, you guys are getting married, right?" Irie asks. He wants to know how his college friends are.

"Yeah, in a while. If he has the guts to propose." Matsumoto grins, a fleeting moment that lasts for a second. "So, I'll see you later?"

"Yes, it's getting late, and I expect that Kotoko ruined something or the other, so I have to go fix it." However, this is accompanied by a slight, gentle smile that shows that his words are spoken in endearment rather than apathy.

Irie turns around to leave, but then Matsumoto exclaims, "Wait!"

He faces her again. "What is it?"

"I'm just curious...not to blow my own horn, but back in college, I had everything a guy could want. I was gorgeous, stylish, studious, athletic... why did you pick Kotoko, who no offense, is cute, but none of the things that I was, over me? Why didn't you pick me?"

"You didn't call me Irie-kun. How could I pick you?" He smiles, cryptically, and walks off.

What did he mean? Matsumoto puzzles in her mind as she sits in the train.

OH!

The only person who called Irie "Irie-kun" was, is, and always will be…

Kotoko.

He loved her since then. And she didn't even realize.

How clueless. But then, she is happy for them.

Besides, she has Sudou, loud, energetic, annoying, concerned, caring, loving Sudou to get back to.

Everything has turned out unexpectedly well.

Later

Irie rings the doorbell.

The door swings wide open, revealing a frazzled-looking but joyful Kotoko.

"IRIE KUN, YOU'RE HOME!" She runs around in circles like an airplane. With anyone else, the gesture would look ridiculous, but when she does it, she looks rather amusing, and dare he admit it? kind of cute.

"I missed you, Irie-kun." She gives him a warm hug which he barely returns, but she misses the slight crinkling of his eyes.

"Don't ever stop calling me that," he murmurs in her ear, and is met with her standard blank 'I don't understand' face.

"Never mind. Let's go inside."


	5. Chapter 5

For as long as he could remember, high school senior Naoki Irie never hated anyone. He just regarded everyone with apathy. He really couldn't care less. Well, except his family, and his close friends, like Watanabe and Sudou, who was head of the tennis club in the adjoining college. Them, he liked, even loved, but only in the platonic sense.

Then along came bumbling, blubbering, blabbering, clumsy Kotoko and, contrary to popular (more like ONLY) belief for those first few months, he never hated her, he just found her annoying.

But the one person he had hated from the beginning seemed like an unusual person to hate, especially because one person was very likeable, even though he was stupid and loud.

Ikezawa Kinnosuke.

Frankly, he was only aware of this idiotic person's (unworthy) existence since when Kotoko moved in, after the infamous "Kotoko Donation" (1) scene.

First, he hated Kinnosuke because he was just like that annoying girl (Kotoko) but qualities magnified and maxified until it gave Irie a headache just to _look _at that bigmouthed loser.  
>Like the time he barged in, without any warning, to their dining room when he and Kotoko were arguing about that letter.<p>

At this time, to summarize, he only hated Kinnosuke because, he was, well, Kinnosuke.

Slowly, though, he found more reasons to hate 'Kin-chan', as he was called by the vast majority of people.

The first reason was his arm.  
>That seems like an unusual reason, but it was plenty annoying when that arm, right arm to be exact, was slung around Kotoko's shoulder. Irie wished that he could <em>burn <em>that appendage right off that poor idiot's body.

The second reason was his fingers.

Those fingers were what he used to make those (even Irie had to admit) delicious little lunches and snacks for Kotoko. Whenever he saw the contented smile on Kotoko's face when she hummed and enjoyed the carefully-prepared food, and Kinnosuke's happy, in love gaze, all he wanted to do was march in there, toss the whole meal ensemble into the garbage and walk out with a smirk.

He had no idea _why _he hated Ikezawa Kinnosuke, but that he did.

However, the reason became apparent at 8:45 AM one winter morning.

Irie had gotten up, gotten ready and left without Kotoko. He didn't want her to trail behind him like always.

He expected that she would be hiding beside some bush or the other, 'spy-walking' a few feet away from him. However, he was surprised and maybe very slightly disappointed when no girl-shaped bulge was hiding behind the telephone pole to his right.

He arrived at school, and made his way up the stairs, looking for Watanabe to have a friendly morning chat with. He couldn't find him, however, so he walked across the 'bridge' that joined the two parts of the school building to get to his class. He glanced out the window, on a hunch, and his eyes narrowed immediately.

There, in the falling snow, what seemed like a couple stood, grinning and looking all in love.

The girl had a cute pink winter hat on, and was pressed against the boy, who was certainly handsome, and it seemed like he was good-naturedly teasing her. They laughed together and they looked happy, joyful, even.

Normally, the cold-hearted genius wouldn't care to watch couples in love, as he had never felt that feeling before and therefore, disregarded it.

However, for the first time, sparks erupted deep in his chest. However, mixed among the unfamiliar sensation of love (and mind you, it was a very, _very _tiny sensation) was a cold fury.

He swept his head away abruptly and kept walking.

The couple was Kotoko and Kinnosuke.

The day got even worse when he heard the two dunderheads who hung out with Kinnosuke whispered about a kiss of some sort. Irie knew that those two idiots were forever alone, so they were talking about Kinnosuke and...Kotoko...

He clenched his fists and prevented himself from making a dent in one of those knucklehead's faces.

His day was marginally better when he remembered the graduation party they were going to have tonight, in a fancy restaurant. He wanted to spend a little more time with his friends before they parted ways for college.

However, once he got there, he found out that the 'idiotic class' had also rented out the remaining half of the space. Coming in, he saw two people in the hallway. Kotoko and Kinnosuke. He froze, unsure of what was happening.

The boy with the mullet and shiny jacket was grinning. "Kotoko, you have some food on your face. Here, let me." He tenderly wiped the food off with his fingers and Kotoko was smiling gently. They looked like they were in their own little world, like a contented boyfriend and girlfriend. They were having an obvious moment, but Naoki (gladly) interrupted it by walking with loud footsteps. Their little bubble immediately burst and they both looked at Irie, with Kotoko murmuring, "Irie-kun..." in a shocked voice.

TO BE CONTINUED IN A PART TWO SOON  
>(1) This references the scene where Kin-chan asks for donations of love after Kotoko's house gets destroyed in an earthquake.<p> 


End file.
